WICHITA WIMPS SECURE NEW BALLPARK

Wichita, KS (7M7AP): Sources tell me that the Wichita Wimps have secured a stadium deal in the city of Puncanton, Kansas, ensuring the Wimps' presence in Kansas for years to come. The stadium, known as "Brown Nugget Ballpark" is the epitome of "modern day ballparks" in the small city, and will become the standard in small market baseball. (pictured below)

"We are very pleased to announce the new stadium deal that we have struck with the great town of Puncanton", 7Mickey7 Vice President of League Expansion Yonkers McMullin commented. "The stadium deal secures a permanent home for the Wichita franchise for years to come. "

The new stadium will feature a sizable outhouse in the fields out back, featuring a urinal track that spans half of the bathroom area. It will also feature two enclosed bathroom stalls with team colored toilet paper."

The grounds will feature poultry shows daily, as well as games for the kids, such as cow puck tic-tac-toe and duck poo bingo.

The grounds will also feature farming marketing booths and demonstrations. On opening night in the stadium, the Future Farmers of America will show you the latest in pig and cow slaughtering techniques as well as new ways to clean up horse poo.

After the demonstration, the food and beverage department will feature fresh hot dogs and hamburgers, corn, mashed potatoes, and biscuits available for purchase at $40 per plate.

"We're talking fine dining here, only available at our ball park," commented Puncanton Mayor Cletus Jones.

Opening night will also feature an "Abe Lincoln" bobblehead, and he will be on-hand to bring relievers out from the bullpen to the pitching mound, a permanent part of the game night presentation. (pictured below)

The first 100 fans to the opening of the stadium will receive a free styrofoam shovel emblazoned with the Wimps logo.

The Wimps presence in town will also help the town of Puncanton financially.

"The arrival of the franchise will help this city develop into a mid-market city in about 57 years," Mayor Jones commented. "We've already started to sketch out some of the new housing developments." (pictured below)

The team front office employees will be moving to a brand new office, featuring central-air (when the windows are open), the best in computer communications (smoke signals), as well as a TV that will greet their fans as they enter the offices (8 inch black and white).

The team will begin the relocation process at the conclusion of Season 11.


(7M7AP): Artist's Rendering of the soon-to-be "Brown Nugget" Ballpark



(7M7AP): The "Abe Lincoln" call to the bullpen.



(7M7AP): Housing Development

5/4 Transactions

- Toronto placed starting pitcher Enrique Sojo on the 15-day disabled list today due to a stiff groin.

Sojo has been a strong pitcher since his promotion into the majors back in Season 8. He has posted a 3.70, 4.61, and 3.55 ERA in the past three seasons while holding opponents to .210, .278. and .239 batting average respectively.

Sojo was off to a slow start this season, posting a 7.25 ERA and allowing opponents to bat .308.

"I could tell something was wrong since the beginning of the season," Sojo said. "I wasn't feeling like myself... my groin wasn't right, but I thought I could battle through it."

Toronto called up AAA reliever D'Angelo Parra to replace Sojo on the roster.

5/3 Transactions

Transactions for 5/3:

- Chicago Maulers released relief pitcher Jeromy Steinbach after an altercation with owner "sharkyaz" after his dismal performance in the morning's game.

"We need someone who is going to stop blaming his issues on everyone else but himself," owner "sharkyaz" commented. "I'm sick and tired of his lip and his horrible performance. It's like any business... if he's not performing, and hasn't been performing, it's time for a change."

After the game, AAA reliever Benjamin Osborne was promoted to the majors to replace Steinbach.

- Anaheim placed reliever Alex Limon on waivers.

- Hutington signed free agent shortstop Victor McDowell.

- Huntington placed center fielder Archie Griffin on the 15-day disabled list.

5/2 Transactions

Transactions for 5/2:

- Dover Destroyers reinstate Reginald Fick from the inactive list. Fick was promoted to the majors.

- Jorge Ozuna claimed off of waivers by the Anaheim Rangers from Houston.

- El Paso placed Ugueth Tarasco on the 15-day DL. To replace him, the Drug Mules called up Alex Ramirez from AAA.

- Monterrey signed International Free Agent first baseman R.J. Espinosa to a minor league contract with a $50,000 signing bonus.

- Washington D.C. signed free agent catcher Andre Musial to a one-year, prorated $1,927,901 contract.

- Pawtucket signed International Free Agent pitcher Oswaldo Nunez to a minor league contract with a $1,600,000 signing bonus.

TOP 5 INDIVIDUAL PITCHING LEADERS 5/2

WINS
1) Robert Gil - Philadelphia (7)

Hardball Dynasty's

Robert Gil

2) Everett Knight - Arizona (5)
3) Archie Hines - Albuquerque (5)
4) Jim Barker - Arizona (5)
5) Erick Walters - Dover (5)


STRIKEOUTS
1) Robert Gil - Philadelphia (59)

Hardball Dynasty's

Robert Gil

2) Gene Stockton - Hartford (55)
3) Juan Montero - Salem (47)
4) Anthony George - Philadelphia (46)
5) Alex Adkinson - Philadelphia (46)


ERA
1) Gene Stockton - Hartford (1.15)

Hardball Dynasty's

Gene Stockton

2) Yamid Pena - Wichita (1.46)
3) Alan Locko - Wichita (1.53)
4) Don Aoki - Houston (1.64)
5) Valerio Ramirez - Kansas City (1.90)


SAVES
1) Gary Koch - Arizona (11)

Hardball Dynasty's

Gary Koch

2) Micah Smith - Hartford (10)
3) Gordon Richardson - Houston (10)
4) Al Johnson - New York (10)
5) Brady Moss - Santa Fe (9)


OPPONENT AVERAGE
1) Terrence Delaney - Las Vegas (.150)

Hardball Dynasty's

Terrence Delaney

2) Gene Stockton - Hartford (.167)
3) Al Sinclair - Chicago K (.186)
4) Yamid Pena - Wichita (.187)
4) Gerald Nation - Arizona (.197)

TOP 5 INDIVIDUAL BATTING LEADERS 5/2

HOME RUNS

1) Heathcliff McBride - Norfolk (17)

Hardball Dynasty's

Heathcliff McBride

2) D.T. Wagner - New York (17)
3) Corey Brush - Norfolk (16)
4) Grant Bradley - Dover (15)
5) Freddy Rollins - Nashville (15)


BATTING AVERAGE
1) Julian Castro - New York (.429)

Hardball Dynasty's

Julian Castro

2) Reagan Walker - Philadelphia (.398)
3) John Keeler - St. Louis (.389)
4) Valerio Calderon - Albuquerque (.387)
5) Freddy Finley - Las Vegas (.381)


RUNS
1) Valerio Calderon - Albuquerque (42)

Hardball Dynasty's

Valerio Calderon

2) D.T. Wagner - New York (40)
3) Bruce Dickens - Dover (39)
4) Corey Brush - Norfolk (39)
5) Brad Freeman - Philadelphia (38)


RBI
1) D.T. Wagner - New York (45)

Hardball Dynasty's

D.T. Wagner

2) Felipe Villafuerte - Norfolk (39)
3) Corey Brush - Norfolk (38)
4) Grant Bradley - Dover (37)
5) Freddy Rollins - Nashville (37)


STOLEN BASES
1) Craig Maduro - Pawtucket (30)

Hardball Dynasty's

Craig Maduro

2) Tito Aoki - Cincinnati Chili (23)
3) Chris Pedersen - Huntington (22)
4) Hipolito Rodriguez - Pawtucket (21)
5) Keith Ratliff - Monterrey (16)

Rumor Mill

Outburquerque? - It is believed that the Alburquerque Apaches have already decided to pack up for the season and look towards the next. My inside sources tell me that most of their team is on the block and that the team is looking for young starting pitching in return.

"The Apaches have had a very successful existence, having had winning seasons in seven out of the last eleven seasons," my source indicated. "They're playing just under .500 ball, so I wouldn't expect drastic changes just yet."

What owner "thedudeno7" will do remains to be seen.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey - Rumor has it that the #1 prospect in the Chicago Maulers organization is on the trading block. Fonzie James apparently is log jammed at the LF position in the Maulers organization behind Spud Daly.

"We are deep at the left field position, and we feel that there are other needs within our organization that we need to take a look at," Maulers owner "sharkyaz" claims. "We are neither confirming or denying that James is on the block... but he really is..."

Take my money... PLEASE! - It's rumored that the Oklahoma City Cowboys are dangling Brandon Epstein, Emmanuel Valdes, and Cookie Rosado in an effort to get top tier young prospects.

"I'm told that the Cowboys are looking to take younger prospects that, in the long run, will ensure long-term success for the club," my source told me. "They're looking to lessen their payroll in order to get younger as well as go after higher paid free agents as they look towards next season."